Great post in The Atlantic about fatherhood. The guy called "Matt" makes a point I have often thought about myself:
"It's now time for that cri de coeur to evolve, and for men to proclaim, gently and kindly, that we may be, in some cases, "better moms"—caregivers, that is—than moms. We are—if you believe the classical stereotypes—less emotional and more practical, approaching child-care problems with a perhaps scientific detachment not to be found in women who, having spent those long months pregnant, may take those problems personally. Whether it's swaddling an infant, precision placement of a princess Band-Aid, or soothing hurt feelings ("Paige said she's not my friend anymore!"), a little emotional distance, data analysis, and hardheaded strategizing can go a long way. And men are, supposedly, better at that stuff.
As provocative as I'm trying to make this argument, I'd like to think this is, in fact, a feminist stance. That is, if women can be as good or better—and better, as Hanna Rosin argues—as men at certain jobs, then why can't we say the same for men, too? Equality of the sexes doesn't mean we're all actually equal. It means we all have equal potential to excel, independent of the shape of our genitalia. If that means that dads start outmothering moms, we have to look at that as progress. So when it comes time to bake cupcakes for pre-K (oh crap, that's next week!), the other moms better watch out, because I make a mean buttercream frosting. Just don't ask me to breastfeed."
"It's now time for that cri de coeur to evolve, and for men to proclaim, gently and kindly, that we may be, in some cases, "better moms"—caregivers, that is—than moms. We are—if you believe the classical stereotypes—less emotional and more practical, approaching child-care problems with a perhaps scientific detachment not to be found in women who, having spent those long months pregnant, may take those problems personally. Whether it's swaddling an infant, precision placement of a princess Band-Aid, or soothing hurt feelings ("Paige said she's not my friend anymore!"), a little emotional distance, data analysis, and hardheaded strategizing can go a long way. And men are, supposedly, better at that stuff.
As provocative as I'm trying to make this argument, I'd like to think this is, in fact, a feminist stance. That is, if women can be as good or better—and better, as Hanna Rosin argues—as men at certain jobs, then why can't we say the same for men, too? Equality of the sexes doesn't mean we're all actually equal. It means we all have equal potential to excel, independent of the shape of our genitalia. If that means that dads start outmothering moms, we have to look at that as progress. So when it comes time to bake cupcakes for pre-K (oh crap, that's next week!), the other moms better watch out, because I make a mean buttercream frosting. Just don't ask me to breastfeed."
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