The Onion: Obama Turns 50 Despite Republican Opposition

How empty would life be without The Onion? (Happy Birthday Mr. President.)

"August 4, 2011 ISSUE 47•31
WASHINGTON—After months of heated negotiations and failed attempts to achieve any kind of consensus, President Obama turned 50 years old Thursday, drawing strong criticism from Republicans in Congress. "With the host of problems this country is currently facing, the fact that our president is devoting time to the human process of aging is an affront to Americans everywhere," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, who advocated a provision to keep Obama 49 at least through the fall of 2013. "To move forward unilaterally and simply begin the next year of his life without bipartisan support—is that any way to lead a country?" According to White House officials, Obama attempted to work with Republicans right up until the Aug. 4 deadline, but was ultimately left with no choice except to turn a year older."

Yes, "The Onion" strikes again...

You can always count on The Onion, even with this eerily accurate headline:

"Democrats, Republicans Celebrate Pitiful Excuse For Common Ground"

TheOnion.com: Congress Continues Debate Over Whether Or Not Nation Should Be Economically Ruined

You can always count on The Onion to get it right.

"He may well be too ambitious and narcissistic to be able to comprehend how much damage he is doing to our country."

The Onion gets it right once again...

The Onion: Man Already Knows Everything He Needs To Know About Muslims

The scary part is there are probably a ton of people actually like this…